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A Practical Guide To Record Shop Speak.

Okay, let’s assume for the moment a few things, one that like other dance music formats we buy mostly on vinyl, two that we generally buy in shops not over the internet at chaos unlimited, and three that your average high-street record shop actually gives a monkey’s scrotum about psytrance.

These three things established, here’s a practical guide to record shop speak.

The guy in the record shop says:
 Yeah, it’s massive in Israel at the moment

The guy in the record shop MEANS:
 It’s been released on about four compilations already you fucking idiot

The guy in the record shop says:
 It’s really, really minimal
The guy in the record shop MEANS:
 You might as well not listen to anything.

The guy in the record shop says:
 It sounds a lot like the last Alien Project album.
The guy in the record shop MEANS:
 It’s the new Alien Project album.

The guy in the record shop says:
 It’s been tearing the leaves off the trees in Goa.
The guy in the record shop MEANS:
 Help. I’ve got shitloads of this. Please buy one.

The guy in the record shop says:
 I saw this lot at the Rex last weekend. They were fucking blinding.
The guy in the record shop MEANS:
 I had three pills and some mushrooms at the Rex last week, they were fucking blinding.

The guy in the record shop says:
 Girls love it when it drops!!!
The guy in the record shop MEANS:
 It’s got a fucking guitar in it.

The guy in the record shop says:
 Ozzy‘s been caning this one!
The guy in the record shop MEANS:
 It’s got loads of fucking guitars in it.