Alien vs The Cat – The Remixes (H2O)

Posted in Reviews 2009 by - July 20, 2009

 

Alien vs The Cat - review by psyreviews

 

 

Take two artists who used to be good, add ten years and you are left with Alien vs The Cat.

Leave Alien vs The Cat in a studio, withholding pornography and vegetables until they produce records. Train them with electric shocks to use a vocoder on every sodding track.

A note to producers everywhere: Vocoder equals Stephen Hawking equals Cher Do You Believe In Love After Love (after love, after love). FUCKING STOP IT.

Release Alien vs The Cat on their own record label, H2O, the ultimate in vanity releasing. (Nobody will release my music, so I shall do so.) Realise at the height of the summer festival season that  Alien vs The Cat has no major release. Get on the phone Yahoo Messenger and sort out some remixes.

In other words folks, this is a dashed-off remix album from one of the most dashed-off musical ‘acts’. It’s tedious and I hate it, but I will concede to there being a couple of good moments on here.

It’s mostly dross, of course; Quadra’s remix of Hear The Noise is pap, Alien vs The Cat’s remix of Save The Robot’s I Am A Robot is just as shit as you’d expect (more keychanges than an S Club 7 gig) and GMS’s remixes of Shokata and Space Jam have the bare bones of good, fluid tracks but given that one has a vocoder and the other has a guitar, it’s onto the shitheap they go.

Intersys and Vibe Tribe turf up some instantly forgettable spoonfuls of made-in-an-evening Cubase things, while Alien vs The Cat take a hacksaw to Growling Machine’s My House, proving once and for all that the sum total of their contribution to psychedelic electronic music is one of languid, wallowing dross.

The best is saved for the last, with the Space Cat “bonus track” Feel The Future. I assume this means Bonus in the same way that Marlboro Reds now come with a Bonus Cancer. It’s Space Cat taking a stab at big (and I mean BIG) Ibizan terrace house, and it sounds awful. Deconstructed, a Donna Summer bassline underpins an over-gated middle (you know, that updownupdown thing where everything is filtered, like on Beckers’ Switch which was like FOUR SODDING YEARS AGO THANKS and I’m sure was already done to death by that point.)

Anyway, dreadful. Try listening to Beam Me Up and go straight into Feel The Future. You’ll want to start feeling the past, believe me.

It is literally only Hujaboy’s mix of The Race that stands up well as a good, solid track; and even then, we choose to ignore a couple of high-end stabs that seem to be put there solely to annoy easily-annoyed reviewers.

All in all, meh. I suppose we really shouldn’t be so surprised at rushed, hackneyed releases like this; it’s a mantra of the scene that nobody sells anything these days, and if H2O thinks they can raise a bit of scratch selling lowest-fullon-denominator to those 20-year-old chaps in silly hats that seem to be invading parties lately, then I suppose we should wish them luck.

 

 

This post was written by psyreviews