Beats Google, MSN.com
Michelle Adamson’s MySpace Becomes Most Visited Page On The Internet
The world of foundations was shaken to its internet last night when analysts revealed that Michele Adamson’s MySpace page had overtaken Google, Wikipedia and MSN.com and become the most-visited site on the internet.
A study commissioned by the International Centre For Trends In Trance confirms that Michelle’s page is, in the words of International Centre’s chairman Quentin Ponsonby-Smythe, “grade A fapping material.”
The page contains many photographic images of the singer and DJ.
MySpace has in excess of 106 million accounts, the lion’s share of which have been created with the sole purpose of fapping over pictures of Michelle, according to the study.
“Myspace boasts that an average userlogin time is in excess of two hours,” said Ponsonby-Smythe, “which suggests that a lot of people are looking at Michelle and pulling their plungers mercilessly.”
Larry Snuffleuffikus, Co-Founder of Internet monitoring company JizzWatch said the result came as no surprised. “We’ve been monitoring things for a while, and it was only a matter of time before Michelle’s MySpace took over.”
"This is the first time we’ve noticed people using the internet for pornography. Amazing, isn’t it."
News Corporation paid $500 million for MySpace, which at the time seemed a trifle excessive. However recent developments suggest that Rupert Murdoch was only trying to get full-res photos of Michelle, something that a recent poll suggested 95% of internet users are “basically trying to do, one way or another.”