Chuck Norris as Trance DJ

Posted in Comedy by - April 29, 2006
Chuck Norris As Trance DJ
Seen those Chuck Norris emails? Annoying aren’t they, especially when you get sent them for the sixteenth time in a week.
Chuck Norris does not beatmatch – the tunes automatically change their tempo’s out of respect.

Chuck Norris will never copy a CD off you. If he wants it, he takes it. You thank him. And then you buy another one.

Chuck Norris does not trade unreleased music. Unreleased music trades Chuck Norris.

If you buy drugs off Chuck Norris, they will be stronger drugs. The drugs do this out of respect.

Chuck Norris doesn’t dance. He fights in time to the music.

Chuck Norris doesn’t need headphones. If the mix goes tits up, everybody is too scared to say anything.

Chuck Norris doesn’t appear on any flyers because anything with his name on will destroy the machines used to print the flyers.

Chuck Norris does his own decor, while DJing for hours, doing visuals on up to seven screens, while also working at the bar, on the door, and shagging an israeli bird up the arse in the gents.

Chuck Norris doesn’t go to the toilet behind the decks while doing a 19-hour marathon set. He pisses on the crowd, who are thankful.

Chuck Norris once removed some smegma from his penis. Six months later, this smegma had released an album on Nano called Refractions.

Chuck Norris does not take LSD, he generates it inside his brain whenever there is nothing else to do.

Chuck Norris used to be part of GMS. When he left, they ceased being either growling or mad, out of ball-stiffening fear and respect.

Whenever Chuck Norris wants some Charas, he picks a bit out of the hairs around his arse. Afficionados claim it is the best Charas in the world.

Chuck Norris does not use effects on the Pioneer DJM600. He telepathically warps the music by staring at it in a threatening manner.

Chuck Norris does not go to parties. Parties go to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not mix in a new tune on the 32. The hihats rearrange themselves out of respect.

Chuck Norris wrote Shamanix.

This post was written by psyreviews